Mark 10:2-16
- Marriage and children are gifts from God
- The only perfect marriage is between Christ and his bride, the Church
On Marriage
The book of James, sometimes known as the “Proverbs of the New Testament”, tells us that:
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights” (James 1:17)
God gives all good gifts to all people. He wants all people to be saved, He wants all people to be reconciled to Him. He makes the sun shine, the rain fall, the crops grow for the good and for the wicked:
As Jesus said in Matthew 5:45
“For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust”
He gives life, homes and jobs to all people, even to those who reject Him and deny that He exists. But there is a major difference in how people receive these blessings. Believers gratefully and joyfully receive God’s gifts, and use them according to His will. Unbelievers refuse to acknowledge the giver and treat God’s gifts as though they deserve them and have earned them. They look for reasons to use these gifts for selfish sinful purposes, or even sometimes see His gifts as a burden. This is especially true regarding two of God’s most precious gifts from heaven that Jesus teaches about in our text today: Marriage and Children. Last week we heard about how Jesus explained the Fifth Commandment “You shalt not kill” and this week we hear about the Pharisees interrogating him on the Sixth, “You shall not commit adultery”.
The Pharisees’ Question
Once again the Pharisees are hounding Jesus. Wherever and whenever a crowd gathers to hear him they try to publicly catch him out with what they think are clever trick questions. As verse 2 tells us:
“And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked…”
So we know from the start that the question they ask will not be an honest one.
“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
They knew that if he said ‘no’, then they could accuse him of disagreeing with Moses and turn the crowd against him. If he said ‘yes’, they could accuse him of being immoral, of being liberal with God’s Law and dismiss him as a fool. In his response, Jesus sets us a perfect example. He turns them back to Scripture, and asks:
“What did Moses command you?”, in effect he’s saying: “What does Scripture say?”
He challenges the Pharisees to go back to their own Biblical knowledge and arrive at the Scriptural answer for themselves. They were only too familiar with the Pentateuch (that is, the first 5 books of the Bible written by Moses) that largely record the Law in detail, and which contains a lot of guidance about marriage. We heard just one example earlier in our Old Testament text from Genesis 2:18. So which part of Scripture did the Pharisees choose to quote and reference? Unsurprisingly, they chose Deuteronomy 24:1, as they believed it was a loophole, the one verse on marriage that they thought excused their hard, disobedient hearts and relieved them of the burden of marriage for life. Of being harnessed with a woman that they may tire of after a while.
Moses said in 24:1 that:
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favour in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,”
Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce for his wife and send her away. And the Pharisees did what Satan leads many people to do: they take a passage out of context, twist its meaning, and misuse it to justify their own sinful desires. Looking closely at Deuteronomy 24:1 and the following verses, and reading it in the context of the rest of Scripture about marriage, as Jesus was asking the Pharisees to do, we see that Moses’ certificate of divorce did not legalise divorce. It was intended to prevent divorces for trivial reasons and primarily only on grounds of adultery. It also ensured the rights of the innocent party were protected, which was usually the woman, so that the reason for the divorce was clear. If a husband sent his wife away the assumption would have been that she had committed adultery. Moses therefore said that the husband must provide a certificate stating the reason. If she was innocent, the certificate would show that, and she would be free from the judgement and condemnation of her community and would be free to remarry. However, Jesus tells them in verse 5 that this was not God’s will:
“Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.”
He tells the Pharisees that it was precisely because your hearts were hard, that you obey the letter of the law and not its spirit, that Moses wrote you this decree. And Jesus then refers back to our reading from Genesis chapter 2 to explain God’s intention and guidelines for His gift of marriage.
Moses’ certificate did not in any way invalidate the institution of marriage and its holiness. The institution of marriage is a part of the Moral Law of the universe that is always and forever true. Before sin entered the world and Adam and Eve and their descendants had become selfish, egotistical rebels, and before the concept of divorce even existed, God established these guidelines for his gift of marriage: That a man will leave his father and his mother, will cut the relationship of his childhood, and will be joined to his wife. He will enter into a new relationship which will make him and his wife one flesh. From that moment it is no longer a question of their own whim and choice, but of obedience to God’s decree. They are no longer two, but only one body and one flesh. Even if the courts declare the marriage bond dissolved, it still holds in the sight of God. So as we heard last Sunday, what we witness here in the Pharisees questioning of Jesus is another example of them attempting to justify following the letter of the law rather than its spirit.
So back to their original question: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” Absolutely not!
However, because of sin, because of hard-heartedness, neglect or abuse or infidelity, divorce happens. Sin may break a marriage so completely that not even two mature Christians can repair it, but it is never lawful. It is never, ever God’s will. Death, not divorce, is the way God ends the union of husband and wife. That is how God’s Law works. It never lets you off the hook. Even when it looks like you’ve found a loophole for sinful desires –
“My co-worker is infuriating and makes me really angry sometimes, but they’re a fool so my anger is justified! I’m a good person because despite this, I’ve resisted actually hitting or killing them”
Well, as we heard Jesus tell us last week in Matthew 5:22:
“But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire”
Or “I’ve never been divorced or committed adultery, so I must be one of the good ones.” He simply says in verses 11-12:
“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Boom! There is no escape. And as we heard earlier in our reading from Ephesians 5, the spirit of God’s 6th Commandment tells us that wives, you must always submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Husbands, you must always love your wives, as Christ loves the church. But none of us have been able to fulfil this perfectly. Sin breaks in and we fall short. God’s law is perfect; there are no mistakes, no errors, no wiggle room or room for improvement. It will never provide excuses for ignoring his will, never provide comfort for those who break it, never provide justification for sinful behaviour. It always kills. Always accuses. Always condemns. God wants us to have the perfect relationship with Him, with our parents, husbands, wives, neighbours and our children.
Divorce Impacts Children
That is why divorce is so catastrophic. Because it tears apart the God given union of husband and wife and because divorce always, always impacts children the most. So it’s fitting that we hear in our gospel text:
“And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them”
Parents were bringing their children to Jesus so that he could bless them, just as we do at the Lord’s Supper with unconfirmed children. But the disciples rebuked the parents for daring to bother Jesus. He had far more important things to do, healing and preaching, than be distracted by mere children. Children had no role in helping them and Jesus to establish God’s Kingdom so go away and stop annoying Jesus. And we hear the same thing today in some churches who resent the presence of children in God’s house – seeing them as nothing more than a distraction, a nuisance. That is definitely not how Jesus sees them, or wants us to see them. He was indignant with his disciples. He rebukes his disciples and gives them an important lesson:
“Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. 15 Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” 16 And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.”
Jesus tells us that children are the perfect example of how to receive the kingdom of God. Not because they’re without sin or innocent, far from it, as Psalm 51 tells us:
” Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.”
But it’s because they realise their helpless state, that they’re entirely dependent. They don’t presume to be able to do, or give, anything that will win them God’s favour. They are content to receive everything as good gifts from him. And it is only when we give up all our attempts to stop trying to justify ourselves, to try and win God’s favour, and instead realise we are entirely dependent on Him, it is then that we can receive the gifts of forgiveness and salvation and be welcomed into God’s kingdom as His children. And like children we can sometimes be clumsy with the things given and trusted to us. Despite our sweet children’s best intent they can break their favourite toy or damage our favourite things. In our hands, marriage can never be perfect. We say and do things that damage the wonderful gift that God has given us.
The Perfect Marriage
But there is a perfect marriage, a marriage that never fails. The marriage between Christ and his bride, the Church. Jesus proposed to you in your Baptism, when he sealed you with his name and his blood. He left his Father in heaven to become one with you. In his Holy Supper he is there to tell you how much he loves you – that he died for you to forgive your sins and reconcile you with His Father. All of Scripture is his love song to you, telling you about the wedding plans that he, his Father and the Holy Spirit made since the beginning of time. Assuring you that you are precious to him, that you are his, and that he is preparing a home for you in heaven. Yes, he chose you to be his perfect, beautiful bride, clothed in a wedding gown of righteousness, made perfect by his death and resurrection. He knows your struggles, he hears your prayers, he knows your hearts. He comforts you through his Word and through the Holy Spirit he is growing you in faith to be more like him: as husbands, wives, parents and children. As God’s adopted everlasting children, and perfect brides of Christ, joyfully accept these gifts your Heavenly Father gives you.
Amen